Scrub Nation
May 1st,
Using an allegedly random dice program, the RedWave blew out the
Scrubs 9-3 in the series opener. The Scrubs came back in game 3 to win
easily 6-1. The other 4 games? The Scrubs' dice were still recovering
from their encounter with the dark (well, the black
and yellow), side. Four games, a total of 6 extra base hits and only 11
runs. But the Scrubs took 3 of 4, scoring a run in the 9th to win game 2
by a score of 3-2; a run in the 9th in game 4 to win 4-3; and after
going into the 8th inning of game 7 leading
1-0, the Scrubs hung on for a 3-1 victory in which the team had 4 hits,
all singles. The go ahead run scored on 3 walks and a sac fly.
Despite the lack of offense, the Scrubs came close to taking 5 games -
they led 1-0 going into the bottom of the 8th in game 6, but the
bullpen gave up a run in the 8th and another in the 9th to lose 2-1.
With the 4-2 series victory, the Scrubs move to a surprising 33-9 on the season.
March 20th,
The Scrubs completed a 6 game sweep of the Crush Sunday afternoon, running the team's record to 23-7.
If the Scrubs can just play .500 the rest of the way, this puts the team on track for a 50 win season.
Scrub pitchers were sharp, posting a team ERA of 1.76 over 6 games led By Michael Wacha throwing 15 innings
in two starts without giving up an earned run. The Srcubs are now allowing just 2.7 runs per game over the first 30games of the season.
First round draft pick Randall Grichuk finally found his groove, batting .480 with 2 doubles, 2 triples, 2 home runs and 9 RBI's in the series.
When asked about rumors that significant off-season construction at the friendly confines included the installation
of some type of dice dampening device, the team's general manager just scoffed - "We owe our success to hard work and clean living.
A dice dampening device? That's as silly as believing that a particular pair of dice turned Billy Madlock and Bobby Bonds into
the most feared 3-4 hitters since Ruth and Gehrig."
Some teams have the reputation of turning good players into superstars. Others the ability to turn a collection of stars into a mediocre team.
The Scrubs have apparently discovered a third path - dragging the opposition down to the Scrubs' level. Just win, baby!
March 18th,
After Game 1 storm subsides, massive power outage strikes both Scrubs and Trucks who split their series
In game 1, the Scrubbies unloaded against Kluber, going deep 6 times (twice each by Joc Pederson and Adam Lind) and back-to-back
blasts by Pollack and Machado for a 15-2 win. In the remaining 5 games, the Scrubs rolled exactly two 66âs for solo home runs
by Saltalamcchia in games 2 and 4.
Despite the power outage, the Scrubs nevertheless managed to eek out two extra inning wins; 5-3 in 12 innings in game 2, and 4-3 in 11 innings in game 5.
However, Arrietta shut out the Scrubs on two hits, both singles, in Game 3 and the Trucks got a 2-1 victory by DeGrom in game 4. Game 6
was another 1-run loss for the Scrubs, 3-2 to split the series at 3 games apiece. Four of the Scrubsâ seven losses this season have been by a single run.
With the Scrubs lack of hitting, the Trucks were thrilled to get out of town with a split.
In an exhibition of dice rolling unseen since perhaps the â76 buccos, the Trucks rolled exactly one 66 the entire series â and that was with a pitcher at the plate.
Coulda been worse though, as pitcher Daniel Norris put it out of the ballpark.
With the extra innings played, that was 230 plate appearances for the Trucks, ONE 66 rolled for the Trucks. .
Similarly, but not quite so gruesome, is the 45 plate appearances by Scrubsâ #1 draft pick, Randall Grichuk, who has a single extra base hit.
Again, however, the Trucks get bragging rights. Rizzo, through 24 games including the series against the Scrubs,
and batting in the heart of the order every game â over 100 at bats - is still looking for his first home run. Ouch
March 5th,
The season has finally started, and Scrub fans have wet their pants
with excitement. The Scrubbies opened the season
by sweeping the Sharks 4
games to none (although the Scrubbies were swept 2 games to none by
Clayton Kershaw).
The Scrubs then went on to
take 5 of 6 from the Lizard Lickers, giving the Scrubs their best start
ever at 9-3 . . . .and two of those losses were by a single run.
Overheard in the bleachers . . .
The Scrubs posted career win number 100 in the second game of the season, a come from behind 10-7 win over the Sharks.
Scrub fans were stunned by the eight errors made by Scrub
pitchers in 12 games.
But others were even more impressed by the
pitchers' .285 batting average and .333 on base percentage.
Scrub starters also through struck out 14 Lizard Lickers in back-to back games.
Scrub starters are having trouble in the first inning - 36% of all the runs scored against he Scrubs this season have come in the first inning.
Despite the team's fast start, Pollack (.212) and Carpenter (.187)
are struggling. The Scrub's manager has said he is confident Pollack
will bounce back but there are serious concerns about Carpenter. Ever
since the publication of a list of major league
line-up anagrams,
he hasn't stopped talking about "Crap Treatment."
That is literally the anagram of his name. "I'm the Scrub's all-time
leader in games,
at bats, runs, hits and doubles" said Crap, I mean
Matt, "I can't believe the lack of respect.
That over-rated
first round pick the team took got a much cooler anagram: Rad Racing
Hulk."
MVP's for the Scrubs - SP Michael Wacha, 3-0 2.07 ERA; RP Will
Harris, 5 appearances, 5 saves 1.28 ERA; and OF Charlie Blackmon- .375
BA, .444 OB%, 3 doubles, 3 triples and 1 HR with 9 RBI's out of the lead
off spot. Full stats to follow.
Newswire Feb 20th,
Bruce M reports; And so it begins...
But how will such a young, unproven squad hold up under the pressure? (See "2015 Washington Nationals").
Grichuk
was reported to be in talks with his agent about finding a team that
can appreciate his talent. He posted the following on Twitter:
- "One day into spring training, and we're being asked to practice bunting. My woman is already weirded out by it. #Ladiesdigthelongball
- "And
this guy actually believed that I was trying. Lol. He even asked us
to take fielding practice! Who does he think he is? Dude's got issues.
That's all I'm gonna say about it." #GeneMauch #letmecrush #gimmemyring
Feb 7th,
Spring training is around the corner, and the long-awaited first edition of the Scrubby Report is out! Here's the latest from Scrub Nation.
Scrubby fans are very excited about this year's draft. Despite having plans A, B, C and D in place for every pick in every round,
the Scrubs were able to go with plan A every time. The average age of the talented position players drafted:
24.4 years old. Pitchers: 27.6. An already young team gets younger.
Compared to any team but the mighty Pond Scum, the Scrubbies will field a powerful line up. "Thank God they can play defense too - otherwise I wouldn't
know what to do with them" said the Scrubbies Field Manager, who was quoted while in the batting cages working with Randall Grichuk on the young
outfielder's sacrifice bunting skills.
The Scrubbies enter their third season with a .500 or better record (including playoff games) against every team in the league except for the Angels, (against
whom the Scrubs have a miserable .250 won-lost percentage) and the 'Cudas (the Scrubs at 9-10 are one game under .500).
Despite last year's disappointing season, in the past two years the Scrubs have compiled a 99-86 record (.535). Yes, the Scrubs enter the season
looking for win number 100! All three of the Scrubbies' fans agree that this should be an exciting year.*
*No guarantees or warranties, express or implied. Management reserves the right to dramatically downgrade expectations depending on spring training results.
Stay tuned for the next edition of Scrubby report.
Newswire Feb 6th,
Mike Montijo, Manager of the preseason favorite Pond Scum, was asked
about the Scrub's draft and had comments like "He got Grichuk and
Pollock? and Schwarber?, and those pitchers? Aw shit, we need to work a
lot harder this spring!".
2016 Draft Results
16 |
Scrubs |
Pollock |
OF3 |
|
|
18 |
Scrubs |
Schwarber |
OF1 |
|
|
25 |
Scrubs |
Pederson |
OF2 |
|
|
38 |
Scrubs |
Capps |
rp |
19 |
A&C-* KXY G L |
41 |
Scrubs |
Harris |
rp |
43 |
A&C-* X L |
53 |
Scrubs |
Bird |
1B3 |
|
|
77 |
Scrubs |
R.Iglesias |
p |
9 |
D X L |
Team Roster
|
Name |
|
Tm |
LG |
BA |
SP |
St |
C |
1B |
2B |
3B |
SS |
OF |
Scr |
Jarrod |
Saltalamacchia# |
ARI |
42 |
.225 |
S |
63 |
7-4 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Derek |
Norris |
SDP |
78 |
.250 |
|
52 |
7+1 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Gregory |
Bird* |
NYY |
24 |
.261 |
S |
63 |
|
3 |
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Adam |
Lind* |
MIL |
78 |
.277 |
S |
63 |
|
3 |
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Joe |
Panik* |
SFG |
54 |
.312 |
|
52 |
|
|
8 |
|
|
|
Scr |
Matt |
Carpenter* |
STL |
78 |
.272 |
F |
41 |
|
3 |
7 |
3 |
|
|
Scr |
Manny |
Machado |
BAL |
84 |
.286 |
F |
41 |
|
|
|
5 |
7 |
|
Scr |
Brandon |
Crawford* |
SFG |
78 |
.256 |
F |
41 |
|
|
|
|
9 |
|
Scr |
A.J. |
Pollock |
ARI |
84 |
.315 |
F |
23 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
Scr |
Randal |
Grichuk |
STL |
54 |
.276 |
F |
41 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
Scr |
Kyle |
Schwarber* |
CHC |
36 |
.246 |
|
52 |
6-4 |
|
|
|
|
1 |
Scr |
Charlie |
Blackmon* |
COL |
84 |
.287 |
F |
25 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
Scr |
Joc |
Pederson* |
LAD |
78 |
.210 |
F |
41 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
Scr |
Hunter |
Pence |
SFG |
30 |
.275 |
F |
41 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
Scr |
Jayson |
Werth |
WAS |
48 |
.221 |
F |
41 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Name |
|
Tm |
Grade |
Lst |
Lip |
ERA |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Lance |
Lynn |
STL |
B |
17 |
|
3.03 |
Y |
|
H |
G |
|
|
Scr |
Michael |
Wacha |
STL |
B |
16 |
|
3.38 |
Y |
|
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Carlos |
Carrasco |
CLE |
B- |
16 |
|
3.63 |
XY |
Z |
L |
|
|
|
Scr |
Jon |
Lester* |
CHC |
B- |
17 |
|
3.34 |
X |
Z |
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Jose |
Fernandez |
MIA |
B- |
7 |
|
2.92 |
XY |
Z |
|
G |
|
|
Scr |
Aaron |
Sanchez |
TOR |
B |
7 |
16 |
3.22 |
|
W |
|
|
|
|
Scr |
Andrew |
Miller* |
NYY |
A&C-* |
|
37 |
2.04 |
XY |
|
L |
|
|
|
Scr |
Carter |
Capps |
MIA |
A&C-* |
|
19 |
1.16 |
XY |
|
L |
G |
|
|
Scr |
Will |
Harris |
HOU |
A&C-* |
|
43 |
1.90 |
X |
|
L |
|
|
|
Scr |
Alex |
Torres* |
NYM |
B* |
|
21 |
3.15 |
Y |
W |
L |
T |
|
|
Scr |
David |
Robertson |
CHW |
B* |
|
38 |
3.41 |
XY |
Z+ |
L |
|
|
|
Scr |
Joe |
Smith |
LAA |
C* |
|
40 |
3.58 |
Y |
Z |
|
G |
|
|
Scr |
Travis |
Wood* |
CHC |
C |
6 |
35 |
3.84 |
XY |
|
L |
|
|
|
Reserves
Scr |
Jordan |
Lyles |
1 |
Scr |
Hanley |
Ramirez |
BOS |
Scr |
Avisail |
Garcia |
CHW |
Scr |
Andrew |
Susac |
SFG |
Scr |
Kris |
Medlen |
KCR |
Scr |
Drew |
Smyly* |
TBR |
Scr |
Raisel |
Iglesias |
CIN |
|